i’m miserable my dimples have subsided i’m invisible; or i’m hiding who knows maybe melvin & his blue notes while his acoustics, loosen my noose a bit he’s seen me passed out with my flask out; clutching a crucifix, with beads on it these sonnets, should be perceived as if they have leaves on it branches dancing in the wind; dying in autumn the coldest winter begins as i am reminded i’m haunted; paying for my sins only a few; still two is like ten this drunken stagger’s not swagger rather reflecting something grim, & sadder pieces of a man, wanting a dad or, someone who matters someone that understands; feeling my pain, by holding my hand excuses gather, though i’ll never complain & i’ll never explain, why i am, who i am hearing the chatter, of my teeth knocking shivering, looking like i’m beat boxing blowing my palms, showing my mom i’m well aware the storm’ll be gone eventually till then, spilling this pen, drenching sheets till hearts & souls are filled in with fulfillment, from quenching me i don’t ask for much just to be, that parent who leads, dads & sons & to she, who marries me; there's ever lasting love & clarity, for my life’s disparities, fogging my glasses up before my life passes up